Why Most People Never Have an Awesome Life (And How to Fix It)
Your answer to “How are you?” reveals everything about the quality of your life.
Most people say “I'm good” or “I'm ok” - not because they're lying, but because nothing genuinely exciting is happening worth sharing. They're passengers in their own lives, waiting for something interesting to happen to them.
Think about the last year of your life. Can you name 5 truly memorable moments? Not just 'good' days, but moments that made you feel genuinely alive?
Most people struggle with this. They remember vacations, maybe a promotion, perhaps a special dinner. But the other 360+ days? They blur together into a forgettable haze of routines, commutes, and mindless activities.
So they tell themselves stories: 'I'll be happy when I get the promotion.' 'Life will be exciting when I meet the right person.' 'I'll start living when I save enough for that trip.'
Meanwhile, months turn into years of waiting. They're essentially putting their lives on hold, treating happiness like something that happens to them rather than something they create.
The cruel irony? Even when those external events happen, the excitement fades quickly. The promotion becomes routine. The relationship has ordinary Tuesday mornings. The vacation ends, and they're back to waiting for the next 'big thing.'
Years pass. Stories don't get made. And they're left wondering where their life went.
But here's what nobody tells you: the difference between an awesome life and an ordinary one isn't about waiting for bigger moments. It's about recognizing that every single day is raw material. The same 24 hours that feel boring to most people can become genuinely exciting when you know what to do with them.
I'm not talking about toxic positivity or pretending everything is amazing. I'm talking about fundamental shifts in how you approach each day that compound into a life that actually excites you to live it.
I used to live this way too. Waiting for the next big thing while ordinary days slipped by unmarked. But testing life from different extremes - from surviving on $1 a day to walking red carpets - taught me something crucial: the most awesome days weren't the ones that looked impressive from outside. They were the ones I actively designed.
That's when everything changed.
Here are 3 key ways that I discovered to create days that actually excite you.
Daily Design
Most people wake up and let their day happen to them. They check their phone, react to whatever demands appear, and wonder why they feel like passengers in their own lives.
Daily Design is different. It's planning certain aspects of your day - either the night before or first thing in the morning - to serve your happiness and growth instead of just getting through another day.
But here's the problem: planning feels harder than it should be. Your brain craves instant rewards from phones and social media, while planning your day offers delayed gratification. Most people can't even manage to floss their teeth because the immediate effort feels greater than the perceived future value.
This is exactly why Daily Design works. Instead of trying to plan every minute, you design just 2-3 intentional moments. Maybe it's 10 minutes of reading instead of scrolling. Or planning one meaningful conversation. Or scheduling a walk that actually happens.
This applies especially to your work and bigger tasks. Instead of just writing 'work on project' or 'do emails,' get specific about the outcome you hope to achieve and how you'll make it happen. Rather than 'work on presentation,' try 'create compelling opening slide that hooks the audience by researching 3 relevant statistics.' Instead of 'workout,' plan 'do 20-minute strength session focusing on legs to feel energized for afternoon calls.'
When you're specific about both the what and the why, your brain has direction instead of decision fatigue. You know success when you see it, and you're far more likely to feel accomplished rather than just busy.
Start simple: Tonight, choose one thing you'll do tomorrow that will make you feel energized rather than drained. It could be calling someone who makes you laugh, working on a project that excites you, or even just eating lunch somewhere that isn't your desk.
The magic isn't in perfect scheduling - it's in choosing moments where you're the author of your experience instead of the victim of whatever happens to you. When you design even small parts of your day with this level of intention, you start building stories worth telling.
Finding Something Valuable From The Experience
Most people live their lives like they're binge-watching a series - one experience flows into the next without pause, reflection, or meaning extraction. They go through experiences instead of growing through them.
The difference between people who build awesome lives and those who stay stuck isn't the experiences they have - it's whether they pause to extract value from those experiences.
This doesn't mean over analyzing everything or turning life into a constant self-improvement project. It means developing the habit of asking: "What can I take from this?" Whether it's a difficult conversation, a small win at work, or even a mundane Tuesday afternoon.
Maybe you notice that you felt most energized during a particular type of task. Or you realize a certain person always drains your energy. Or you discover that taking a walk before lunch completely changes your afternoon mood. These aren't earth-shattering insights, but they're building blocks.
The magic happens when you actually capture these observations instead of letting them slip away. It could be as simple as a few sentences in your phone's notes app or a quick voice memo on your drive home.
Start tonight: Before bed, ask yourself "What's one thing I learned about myself or life today?" Don't overthink it. Just notice something. When you start deliberately extracting value from your experiences, ordinary days become stepping stones to the life you actually want.
Energy Management
Most people manage their time obsessively but completely ignore their energy. They can have a perfectly scheduled day that leaves them feeling drained, or an "unproductive" day that energizes them for weeks.
Here's what I've learned: your energy isn't random. It follows patterns, and those patterns reveal everything about what actually matters to you.
Pay attention to what consistently drains you versus what lights you up. Maybe you feel energized after deep conversations but depleted after small talk. Or you thrive on creative projects but wither during administrative tasks. Or certain people leave you feeling inspired while others leave you feeling heavy.
These aren't just preferences - they're clues about your values in action. When your daily activities align with what genuinely matters to you, energy flows. When they don't, even "easy" tasks become exhausting.
Most people try to power through energy misalignment with willpower and caffeine. But awesome days aren't about forcing yourself to be energized - they're about understanding your natural patterns and designing around them.
Here's what this looks like in practice. Take something as simple as a team meeting:
Low-energy approach: You show up, sit through updates, maybe contribute when asked, and leave feeling drained. The meeting happened to you.
High-energy approach: You prepare one insight to share, actively engage with others' ideas, and use it as an opportunity to strengthen a relationship. Same meeting, completely different energy outcome.
The meeting didn't change. Your alignment with it did.
Start tracking: For one week, simply notice what gives you energy and what takes it away. Note the time of day, the activity, the people involved. You'll start seeing patterns that reveal not just how to manage your energy, but what kind of life actually excites you.
The goal isn't perfect energy management - it's energy alignment. When you design your days around what naturally energizes you, awesome becomes sustainable.
The difference between people who say "I'm good" and those who genuinely excite others with their stories isn't luck or circumstances. It's these three shifts: designing your days instead of defaulting, extracting value from every experience, and aligning your energy with what actually matters to you.
Of course, knowing these concepts and actually implementing them are two different things. The gap between understanding and living it comes down to having practical tools that make these shifts feel natural rather than forced.
I've been working on something that bridges this gap - a collection of templates and frameworks I call the Awesome Life Design Kit. It includes everything from a daily reflection journal to monthly progress reviews, plus some exercises for clarifying what awesome actually means to you specifically.
Every day holds the potential to become a little more awesome, and I believe that starts with the small, intentional choices we make.
